Hello Monkey!

Lagi stalkin blog orang, terus ketemu sama pengguna blog yang annonying gitu. Alamat blognya www.hellomonkey.blogspot.com dan dia cuma ngepost satu post doang. Ditulis tahun 2003, dan gue suka banget isinya. Ini diaaa

Hello, my monkey. 

I miss you. I was sitting in the old art hallway a little while ago drinking green juice and attempting to study for physics, but I found my mind wandering and thinking about you. I feel really bad about last night; I’m sorry for making you feel bad. I guess I was just scared about everything we’ve done, and I think that it is time for a change. I think I was hurt that it did not seem that you cared very much, especially to say that I live my life by what the internet says and that I worry too much about definitions. All of that is important to me, and I can only hope it’s important to you, too. I’m sorry for getting upset this morning; I was sad that what I had been bothered by before you did again, for the third time this week. It’s like no matter how many times I tell you, it seems that you are still late calling; and it’s not casually late, but a large amount of time that I end up waiting. 

I’m sorry that you felt upset as we were walking to your art class. I was simply trying to make the point that I’m not the only one who has felt this way about you. You should consider yourself lucky to have had that many people admire you; many people don’t have that… You are a very special person, and I feel very lucky and blessed to have someone like you. It hurts to imagine you with someone else, and I’m scared that that might happen someday…I really don’t want this to end. I cherish our relationship so much, and these last few months have been the happiest of my entire life. Honestly, I never knew that a relationship with someone could be this happy, filled with so much joy at seeing another person, as opposed to the jealousy and bad feelings I’m reminded of by the loud voice I can hear from the other side of the library. I know that you do try to change, and I know that you have changed. I’m sorry for making it seem like you don’t sometimes; thank you for doing all of this for me, and thank you for putting up with me. Sometimes I feel like I’m very “high maintenance” as my algebra 2 teacher put it when I went in early for help one morning, and I also feel so terrible because I know that everything that I find wrong with myself is my own fault, just like what Kyle had said online last night. There is so much wrong with me, and sometimes I feel like the worst person in the world. Thank you for loving me and putting up with that. 

You are a wonderful and special girl, and I’m glad to have you; it’s always so nice to see you, and I’m thankful that we have the chance to see each other most every day, at least for now. I’m going to miss you very much next year, and even though it is several months away, I still feel sad a lot of the time now thinking about August and how after that I won’t have you very often L It’s also sad to think that the time remaining together here is less than the amount of time that we have been going out; we’ve passed the halfway mark, in a sense. I can only hope that these remaining months will be filled with as much joy as the first few. I have enjoyed being with you so much, and I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else. You are ever more special than I could have imagined, more beautiful every time I see you. Each time I’m with you, I fall more in love with you, and it becomes harder and harder to part with you. Hehe…parting is such sweet sorrow L 

I miss you very much. Hopefully you can do something this weekend. As weird as it sounds, two days is a long time to go without seeing you, especially if I’m doing boring stuff like studying for physics and (ugh…) economics. Somehow seeing you makes all of that better. 

I hope that you are having a pleasant day so far, and I look forward to seeing you very shortly. I love you, my monkey, with all my heart. 

Elmo misses Charlie. 

I love you, beautiful, and I miss you… 

<3 your panda