Senin, 26 Februari 2024

Gelisah ini semakin banyak

Hallo, Allah...

Let allows me to write this "diary" for you
Allah, you know I don't have anybody except You and myself
Allah, you already knows everything about me, in my ups and a lot downs you are the One that never forget me, never leave me, always beside me no matter what happened
Allah, I really love You even though I'm still make a lot of mistakes but one thing for sure my heart always have You
Allah, You are my hope
Thank you for always allows me still believe in hope Allah...

Allah, I have dream to visit you're home this year
I think You already call me right?
Can I Allah, I really miss You, I want to visit Your "home" this year
Allah, I'm crying...

Allah maybe on my previous day I made a mistake because I'm too prioritize my family above You and my self
I'm already got the lesson learned Allah to always prioritize You and my self no matter what happens
I will make my life happier than before, I promise!
One thing that my life happier is visiting Your "home"
I hope... One day, my goals, my dreams, my hopes...

Allah, one of way to get there is accepted at that company
Can You allow me Allah?
I promise the salary is to visiting Your "home"
Bismillah, insya allah...

- HS
26/2/24 at 15.12 PM

Senin, 19 Februari 2024

Akan Ku Usahakan Sarjana Itu.

 19/02/2024 at 15.37 PM

"Cepet nyusul ya"
"Kapan wisuda"
"Udah sampe mana skripsinya"
"TA kamu progresnya gimana"
"Kapan sidang"

This journey, not only about me & my thesis
If we talk about "thesis" it means include of resource persons and supervising lecturers
A lot of stakeholder that out of my control
I'm trying my best to always give this shit of thesis progress, but...
A lot of things that out of my control
And I'm really tired

I know it's God decision
I just... curious? Why God? Why it's really hard for me God? Why? Am I special one to deserved all this bad things?
Someone talked "The more you feel pain, the more strengths that Allah gives it to you."
But, still hard, don't know what to do except accepting & still be blessed

For my dearest self,
Thank you for still survive until now
Thank you for accepting the all good and bad feeling
I know it's really hard to accept bad feeling, but it's life, it's our journey
And last, thank you for writing this a little journal of your journey 

Anything will be easier when you write it right?

Kamis, 01 Februari 2024

Blessed & thanked.

I can't stop saying that God really kind to me
For real...
Maybe people only see that as a common, bare minimum, or small things
BUT IT IS REALLY MATTERS FOR ME, FOR REAL

After challenges and struggles that I faced, I'm survived, and God let me happy easily
A lot of good things happened
God? Really? I can feel happiness again?

And the good things that Allah gives to me is a lot...
God, it's too much?
Am I deserve to received all of this good things?

I can't think clearly for what happens lastly
I just feel blessed & thanked.